I don’t know where this came from. I think it’s partly down my friend Andy’s LIFETIME AMBITION to open a toastie shop, coupled with a rare period of boredom in work last week where the ultimate comfort food became a topic of conversation.

It’s the common workplace list discussion… Best song from the 80s – The J Geils Band – Centerfold, best dog actor - Eddie from Frasier, or the scariest children’s tv presenter – clearly the hand from the CBBC Broom Cupboard.

I put forward the classic toastie-machine toasted sandwich as the ultimate in comfort eating.  There’s something about the triangular squished shape, the molten-like innards and the very specific taste you get. I could practically taste it as I described my choice to a co-worker. And with the clock rolling on 1.30, it was settled – the hunt was on.

The problem we were immediately faced with was there’s practically nowhere in Belfast which serves the classic toastie. Due to the prevalence of the panini press and the popularity of ‘the wrap’. Anyway, the first place we tried was Ventnors, behind Bedford St.

“You don’t happen to do the classic toasties, made in a toastie machine? Per chance?”

“Ha, yea, if you have a TIME MACHINE and go back to the 80′s…sure…” guffawed the Ventnors girl. I kid you not.

So basically The Belfast Toastie Hunt began, and we’re roughly a week in. We’re going to try a different cafe every week (or so…), in the hunt for the classic toastie. And none of that panini press rubbish. We’ve also set one rule, to avoid any further sandwich shop aggro:

You cannot ask if a cafe does ‘classic toasties’ – After getting a complete smackdown from the Ventnors girl.

So far we can strike off the following three cafes:

City Lite – Castle St – NOPE – Nice and cheap toasted sandwich, but not a classic toastie.

A fine effort from City Lite... but nope.

Campbells – Arthur St – NOPE – More panini press malarky, but still a good sandwich.

Blinkers – Rosemary St – NOPE – But it came with chips!

The hunt continues… – feel free to join!

Update: This just got real. We now have a hastag – #toastiehunt

If you take part in the Toastie Hunt, please remember to take a snap of your attempt!

“Our efforts must be primaily about putting more SDLP votes into ballot boxes and I will give you all I’ve got in return to ensure that’s achieved,”  The words of Alasdair McDonnell on accepting the leadership of the SDLP last year. What he failed to mention was he wanted a little somethin-somethin in return…

IT’S hard to understand what went through Alasdair McDonnell’s head when he declared MLAs needed a pay-rise. The multitude of reasons why this was misjudged go without saying, so I wont bother repeating. It was a rookie PR mistake and his press office should shoulder some of the blame, but what seems like an even bigger clanger for McDonnell is his inability to even try and control this embarrassment of a story.

It’s a fundamental aspect of damage limitation. Control the story no matter how painful.

How he should have reacted…

So you mused on the possibility of MLAs facing poverty in the middle of a recession?

Well sure, that was an extreme example to drive home a point. Poverty is a serious issue and something our party is doing everything to fight. — cue a great opportunity to talk up the SDLP’s policies on REAL poverty.

A party Mayor comes out with an attack from within, what do you do?

Brilliant, this highlights the importance of this issue. Sure there are other important issues, but we’re a big party tackling big problems on all fronts. Yes I’ve raised a point about MLA pay and pensions, but look at the rest of the interview. Look at what else this great party wants to tackle. It’s passionate people like Brian Heading who are what we’re about. I look forward to knocking heads with him in the future!

And tactics to try and avoid…

• Blaming the media, like in this defensive press release: “In the face of witch hunt reporting and with so many other politicians keeping their heads down, we need to get our facts right and keep our eye on the vital democratic principle at stake.”

• Going on the defensive, with personal attacks and a cheeky bit of whataboutery – in the same release: “There is no room for duck-house style abuses or lavish lifestyles. There is no need to spend vast amounts of money – good representation can be had for a mere fraction of what Stephen Nolan is paid out of our licence fees.”

• Or throwing your toys completely out of the pram and go in to hiding. The airtime which McDonnell could have been using to defend his position on Evening Extra was filled with the voices of his detractors. Cllr Brian Heading and ex SDLP communications chief Ruairi O’Kane both had time to get their opinions on the matter across, yet the leader of the party maintained radio silence.

By all accounts, not a great way to kick off 2012, and this time Dr Al can’t even blame the bright lights for throwing him off his game.

Did you hear the one about Bob Dylan, Justin Bieber and yer man from Maroon 5 going on the Titanic boat tour…ON A SUNDAY?

With the MTV EMAs this weekend, the awesome, awesome, incredible hyperbole is kicking off all over town. But it’s worth noting where these ridiculous rumours start — the PR control freaks.

Everything from the perkiness of the waitresses serving Gaga and bloody Kasabian, to the colour of the walls backstage, is under the watchful eyes of MTV’s PR bods.

Local photographers have been told “No wide angles” ahead of Sunday night’s show.

To give you an idea of how sensitive these image-makers are, here’s an excerpt from Rihanna’s photo-contract from her recent Belfast gigs:

Photographer shall provide copies of the “Photographer’s edit” of the Images
to Tourrihanna either: (i) promptly following the exclusivity period granted to the
Publication; or (ii) or if no exclusivity period is granted to the Publication,
promptly following completion of the shoot. Photographer agrees that any
Images, and all copies thereof, which were not provided to Tourrihanna as part of
the “Photographer’s edit” shall be permanently destroyed/deleted by
Photographer so that they may never be seen by any third party.

You can see the rest of this typical, self-important contract here.

Enjoy Sunday night!

I expect legal bods will be pouring over this case for decades to come.

After questioning the non-existant charity status of a claimed charity, I received a series of DMs from @NITODAY. Enjoy:

Ingredients:

500 g or so of lean mince (I got mine from the discount fridge in Tesco – word)

1 onion chopped

1 Bell pepper chopped

1 Italian sweet pepper chopped (or something a bit more Scoville…)

Several cloves of garlic diced like you’re in Goodfellas

Kidney beans

Chili powder

Passata

Chopped tomatoes

Cheap Bulgarian red wine

Cola

Rum!

1. Brown the meat in olive oil with the diced garlic.

2. Fry up all the chopped peppers and onion. Try not to use too much oil.

3. Transfer contents of pan into pot with mince. Add a few glugs of passata, a glug of wine and a spoon of chili powder. You can add more chili powder later to suit taste. Bring to simmer and leave for ten minutes (not sure why, just the way I do it.)

4. Cap’n Morgan!

5. Not to forget a rake of kidney beans! Rinse them out first though.

6. Now – a glass of cola and a glass of wine.

7. Now set on low, stick the lid on and let it bubble away for a good 30mins to 1 hour. Remember to stir every now and then. Add more cola if liquid layer is lower than 1cm above the meat.

8. After the half hour or so, taste and add chili powder if it needs. Take the lid off and let the chilli reduce. After another 20 mins or so the juice will be nice and thick – good to go!

Boom, Sweet Rum & Coke Chili

Serve with rice, crusty bread and creme fraiche.

(I forgot to take a photo of the end product…)

After Justice Minister David Ford announced there were four super injunctions in place in June this year, I can reveal a fifth injunction has been granted.

Mr Ford confirmed the number in a response to questions by MLA and Assembly agitator Jim Allister.

When pressed for more details on the nature of the fifth super injunction, a spokesman for Courts NI confirmed: “One order prohibiting publicity on the granting of injunctive relief has been granted since 6 June 2011.

“Further information cannot be provided on extant orders without risking contravening the terms of the order.”

So, there you go. Another super injunction granted by an anonymous court, restricting the reporting of god only knows.

Watch this farcical space.

Belfast City Council must be proud of their Bonfire Management Programme.

The Sandy Row boney is probably one of the most high-profile pyres in the city, located a wkd bottle’s throw away from the Europa Hotel and Crown Bar - it has the highest footfall in town. Tourists travelling up on the Enterprise from Dublin today will be met with a slightly jarring message as they make their way up Great Victoria Street. “Enjoy your stay in Northern Ireland, but don’t you fucking dare cross that border.”

And although the Sandy Row bonfire  does tick the “environmentally friendly” box for it’s lack of noxious tyres, I’m not entirely sure how the Tricolors and election posters of our newly elected Lord Mayor Niall Ó Donnghaile fit in with the council’s aim to “help communities reconnect with the cultural significance of bonfires”, let alone  doing anything to “create a positive, family-friendly celebration involving the whole community”.

I haven’t got a problem with communities embracing their culture, but as a city we need to put our collective foot down and push back. This sectarian bating and the council’s apparent approval of it is abhorrent and completely unacceptable in a modern Northern Ireland.

As always, head over to Slugger O’Toole for their open minded and dynamic coverage of the 11th night and Orangefest.

Added: Slugger’s post on the council funding

Bonfire Engagement Programme 2011

North Belfast (7)

Glenbank (turn of the road)

The HUBB (Skegoniel)

Whitecity

Wheatfield Community

Shore Crescent

Sunningdale

Tiger’s Bay

East Belfast (15)

Ballarat Street

Chamberlain Street – Forward Group

Clara Street

Clarawood

Cluan Place

Inverary

Island Street

Isthmus Street

Loop River

Lower Castlereagh Community Group

Orangefield

Pitt Park

Tamar Street (Connswater Community Centre)

Templemore Avenue Residents Action Group

Walkway Community Association

South Belfast (10)

Annadale

Donegal Pass

Donegall Road (Milner Street)

Dunluce Avenue/Lisburn Road

Donegall Road (Monarch)

Finaghy/Benmore

Flush Park

Sandy Row

Suffolk

Taughmonagh

So what’s he playing at?

Do modern unionists really refer to Sinn Fein as “scum”?

This might be the biggest PR disaster of the election. Whilst reaching out for what he sees as the lost sheep of the TUV, he’ll be wiping out his core support from the moderate unionist centre.

Deary me.

Video of Tom’s outburst on UTV Election live blog.

BBC News direct link

It’s horrible, it’s pure barbarism and it happened the day before Mother’s Day. Ronan Kerr’s murder was not ‘mindless’ or ‘without logic’, but it was almost certainly futile.

The 25 year old Catholic PSNI recruit was killed by dissidents in a car bombing in Omagh.

This attack and those  before, both botched and thwarted, serve a purpose and as the peaceful horrified majority, it’s vital we understand this. To dismiss the acts of Dissidents as mindless is just wrong and dangerous.

The bottom line is they want to achieve three things:

1) Police retaliation. Doors broken down, houses searched and harassed families in tears.

2) Army on the streets.

3) Loyalist retaliation.

Either one, or all three of the above would help solidify a sympathetic community behind their ’cause’, and without the support of the community, any armed struggle is nothing more than random acts of violence, thuggery and murder.

So really, it’s very simple. We starve them of these three goals, and they gain nothing. Absolutely nothing.